Once:Upon:

 

 

 

 

 

Please don’t be in love with someone else. I don’t know who you are, where you come from, or even your name, but I really believe that you’re my happily ever after. I look at it as the classic fairy tale love story; boy and girl meet, have short conversation, never learn who the other is, and continue this for a long period of time. This has been going on between you and me for about a year now. It is not until recently that I have begun to notice it. We see each other, walk by, a kind smile, a sweet hello, and then move on. I feel that it is like Cinderella. I see you at the beginning of the night and then never see you again until the next event. You are beautiful. I don’t even know you and I can sum you up in that one word, beautiful. You have eyes that shine and lips so bright. You are skinny and frail but accent it with fashion; a gorgeous being to say the least. I kept looking into your eyes every time you passed by last night. I couldn’t get you off my mind. I was beaming a smile from ear to ear at that first hello and the smile never left. I once had the start of a fairy tale with a princess, but that flame failed. I do not know what came of it or why we parted ways. I tried asking her that and never received a reply.

I have never been in love. You could call my various female encounters my “loves” but I have never been in love. I may have thought I was at the time, but I know I truly was not; it was just hormones. My first love was a sweet and smart girl who has the prettiest voice. My transition from elementary school to middle school really helped with her at my side. We were always together. I do not know how, but she ‘left’ me. We were not really together in the first place so I can’t say that she legitimately left me, but she ‘left’ me. I never spoke a word to her my entire seventh grade year, can you believe that? Now we are the best of pals, and the most glorious of time travelers. My second love was my first girlfriend. It was more or less eloping because mom did not really like her at all; though my mom was kind and supportive of me in choosing this girl as a companion. Turns out the girl was not the wonderful person I had believed her to be that summer. We only dated for a summer. It didn’t work out, obviously, and now I don’t even know where she’s ended up. I did see her at church today. I haven’t seen her in a few years. It was odd. My third love was that princess… Or ‘is’ that princess if we want to get technical. I don’t really know where we are right now. I wouldn’t doubt I did something wrong and she just doesn’t want to tell me, but there was some madness on her side as well. I don’t know what she thinks of me or where I lie in her heart anymore. I told her that she could keep my heart one day; she replied that she was now a time lord. She thrust it back at me in fury one afternoon on a drive to the mountains. I cried. The rest of the week was terrible; I thought she was ‘the one.’ I was not in love with her, yet, because I refused to say I was in love after my first girlfriend experience. I really saw a future with this princess. I don’t know what happened, I really don’t; we were tight and lovely and fantastic with each other. I called her my other half one time. I guess if it wasn’t for her negativity towards me during that time in the mountains, I wouldn’t have heard God speak to me about being a pastor. During some worship time I was so upset with her that I finally blocked her out of my mind and didn’t let her back in for some time. It was during that time that God brought me to my knees during worship and told me to be a pastor.

God used those ‘love’ experiences to get me to open up and to allow my heart to be broken and molded. If it wasn’t for me blocking her out of my mind so hardcore that night, I would never ever have allowed myself to open up and listen to God and what he had to tell me. It is amazing, really, when I think about it. It shows the awesome power of my creator. So that is my past with girls. There was this one girl in kindergarten, but she doesn’t count. (I mean, really, its kindergarten. Think about it.)

I want you to know everything there is to know about me. I would like to have the same with you, but it is the fairy tale love story we’ll be telling our grandkids for years; that we barely knew each other and kept up a love so immense the entire time. I do not know how to explain this, to tell you the truth. I would need that face-to-face interaction that I get with people to get my real point across. I think that a fairy tale love story is a beautiful thing and I can’t wait for the day that I get to know who you really are and explain even deeper the things I’ve shared with you that are so simple and unknown that it drives me crazy. I want to divulge so many secrets to you, my fairy tale, I just do now know how or when to do so. You don’t mind if I call you fairy tale, do you? I just feel that you are my happily ever after. I really do believe that.

(My writing does end up being cryptic and magic and I really get lost in what I’m saying. It may be difficult to decipher what I really intend to say, but then again, isn’t all writing? Also, I am refusing to tell anyone which parts are actually true. Here is the one exception: God did tell me to be a pastor and I never would have heard him if it wasn’t for this one girl. For all the nicknames, those of you who think you know are actually dead wrong. I am not going to tell you if Fairy Tale is even a real person. I am not going to tell you if any of any said persons are real. I am going to tell you to use your imagination, follow your dreams, and make God number one in your life all the time.)

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