Influence In Difficulty

Plans for today have been canceled and rearranged, so thusly here I am before dawn typing.

The highlight of my week has been completing my Paramore collection. I have every single song they ever released and even the unreleased songs they did before they were famous. It’s exciting to hear their old and new stuff together. I’m getting butterflies listening to The Singles Club and loving their older song Hello Hello.

“You’ll be sorry to hear, I’m doing fine now. Sorry to hear, you’re without me now.”

Since my first relationship ended in terrible mishap and anger and depression, Paramore has been my muse. Through my ex-girlfriend’s best friends I was introduced to Hayley Williams. She is the most beautiful redhead I’ve ever known and I absolutely adore her voice. My current Partner In Crime giggles at me because I love Hayley Williams so much. A lot of people seem to think Harry Potter is what started my craze for gingers, but I quite disagree. Hayley Williams is the one who did it. I love her tenacity and audacity. She has dyed her hair so many colors and looks beautiful in each one of them. I’m in awe of her and the accomplishments of Paramore.

I have Paramore tees, Paramore glasses, Paramore bracelets…. I love Paramore 😀

Life has been moving in a different direction for me. I have found some new friends. There have been new opportunities given to me. I have become more layed back and quite frankly, lazy. I do things for enjoyment or for benefit. I feel terrible, but I haven’t been giving much thought to my future. My grades at school are the worst in years. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m going to cry a lot of times. I’m put through so much stress and given so much to do that I just can’t handle it.

The way my school life is going I feel like I may have to go to community college for a few years just to catch up and make my GPA look good. I am looking at going to Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, Illinois, but I think  God may  have me on another path right now. I need to start working and working hard.

The way I see it, and this is basically what I’ve seen it was since I was  young is: Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.


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