Life? Can I describe life right now? I don’t know. I’m complicated. On more than one occasion I have been told this. Life happens. And it’s happening hard right now. I’m overcome by everything. By work, by school, by home. Even my body is working against me as I can’t sleep and I have stomachaches and constant migraines. I’m emotionless at the moment. I don’t know what to feel. It’s getting harder for me to get up each day. I no longer want to do anything. I want to go to bed and not wake up until everyone leaves. It would be nice. Being the only one here. It’s been Doctor VS The World recently. There have been a few exceptions, but I feel like everyone and everything is against me this weekend. I’m finding hope in the Beattitudes.
“Blessed is he who is broken in spirit.”
I’ve definitely had a broken spirit. I’ve just been down. When I’m around my good friends I embrace the time and try to have as much fun as possible. Afterwards, I’m out of it. My family doesn’t help either. I’m upset, so I won’t write about them. It wouldn’t be right. Yes, I am upset at them, but when I calm down I do love them. I’ve never had regrets but to make a public acclamation of my anger towards my family, or even details, wouldn’t be good. Life is happening real hard right now.
As I go through life in this brokenness, I look to God. I am a little down, but he gives me hope and pulls me through. I am nothing without my Creator. He’s not my crutch, he’s my stretcher. I hold tight in this. I am reminded daily of his love and promises. I get daily verses and quotes sent to my phone from Twitter. Words of Christ, and words of his followers, help me throughout the day. Checking my cell every hour and reading a different verse or inspirational quote helps me get through the day. I’m not alone in my walk. I have a Savior. I have a friend. I have a love. His name is Jesus.