On The Inside

I’ve done some observing and meditating and have come across a series of “lessons” that God is teaching me through his word and my daily life. My pastor gave me the wonderful honor of preaching in a few weeks on a Sunday. I almost jumped out of my seat when he called me and asked me to. It’s brilliant! So I started doing some writing and researching on what I was going to say to God’s people. I had a very hard time with some of it. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t get it into type. So I read the verses he wanted me to speak on out loud. I found an empty part of the room with plenty of space and began to meditate. Legs folded, back straight, hands on my knees, and my eyes closed. I asked God to consume me with his Holy Spirit and teach me what I needed to know. I talked to him about the verses, what I was getting from them, what I wanted, what he wanted. I began praising him for being so good and for revealing himself in me. For putting me through struggles that I may overcome and give God the praise. Here’s what God told me in my meditating: We go through trials so that when Jesus returns, we may give him even more praise and glory!

Isn’t that just amazing?! I was jumping up and down with joy and telling my brother about it. I was so overwhelmed with God. I was able to outline my sermon better and am almost finished with it. It’s so great to see and feel what God is doing in my life.

The power of prayer is becoming alive just in the past day. My mother was in the hospital with some unknown illness. I didn’t know what was going on. I was at home and received a call from my father about it. I was in tears because I knew she was going to die. I freaked out . It became the hardest prayer I believe I’ve ever prayed. With tears in my eyes and verbally crying to God, I told him, “Your will be done.” It was so hard for me to tell him this when I knew my mom was dying. I prayed that he would watch over her and help her, but the absolute hardest thing for me to ever do, as my mom was at a hospital dying, was to tell him, “Your will be done.”

It was life-changing. My father called me back in an hour and told me what was going on. My mother was alive and well. She had something going on with her balance. SHE WAS ALIVE!! She came home and I ran for her and hugged her and was crying and let her know how I was freaking out. She laughed, but it was a loving laugh. My mother is alive.

I’ve also been praying for a good friend of mine. Let’s say their name is Will. Will is having a hard time the last few months. His dad broke up with his girlfriend and had to move out of the house. Will moved in with his father to Will’s grandfather’s house. Will’s grandfather isn’t the kindest person, nor the most¬†lenient. I’ve been taking Will to church the last few months and he loves it. He’s making new friends, learning about God, and having a grand old time. But he still struggles at home. I prayed for him a lot this weekend. I don’t really know why. See, Will doesn’t know Jesus in a personal way. He doesn’t have that relationship with God as I do. I pray for him all the time. I was talking with Will today and he said that life has been great! His friends are good, his dad is good, and even when his grandfather is cruel, he is content. He’s getting steps closer, everyday, to God. He wants that personal relationship with Jesus, but is still confused. He doesn’t understand a lot that we (me and his father and church friends and our pastor) tell him, but he’s getting there. He has even begun praying. He says he prays whenever he’s upset or scared or alone. It’s amazing.

God will continue doing amazing things, and I am so blessed. I only pray that Will would come to know Jesus in that close and personal relationship. Pray that God would work in Will and bring him to that saving knowledge and acceptance of Jesus Christ. I do know one thing as I go throughout the day and as life comes at me all at once. What I know to be true and always will be:



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