I haven’t stayed absolutely pure over the course of my lifetime. Yes, even pastors make mistakes. And I’ve made a lot. I am forgiven and I am found in the arms of Christ. I have let go and moved on. God is the only one to thank and praise for this. Through his power I have stepped closer and closer daily to overcoming all evil.
As a man, or perhaps it’s just personally, I came to one of the hardest choices I have had to make in a long time. I had to go to her and let her know what I have done and that I have not been this totally perfect guy my entire life. I have made mistakes. It was so hard to look her in the eyes and tell her that I have not been true to her my whole life and that I did not wait for her. I was on the verge of tears. Although, what God had in store for me was not what I had expected.
We were in a restaurant sitting across from each other eating Italian. It was just us alone. Only a few people were in this large establishment, which was a blessing, what I had to do would be difficult either way. It was a comfort to have just us and God. I told her everything, all while ready to cry. I don’t care if it isn’t a manly thing to cry, I was pouring out my sin to her. I let her know everything I have done and what happened and even things I have done while I was with her. I am not perfect in any way. I have forgiven myself and God forgave me long before that. I expected her to stand up and leave. To yell at me or cry and run out of the place without a farewell. God has blessed me with an amazing woman at this point in my life and I didn’t truly understand that until the moment in which she took my hand and looked me straight in the eye with that beautiful smile and said, “It’s okay. I forgive you.”
I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t even look at her. I felt as if she was no longer there, but it was Jesus in her place speaking to me.
“It’s okay. I forgive you.”
She has been the greatest blessing in my life so far and I’m truly grateful for her. We’re working together to pursue Jesus. I had to let it all off of me and confess to her. She helps me stay in check. Asks me what I’ve been doing. Wonders what I need help with. It’s been so amazing! I want to be better for her. I told her that truly I want to be the best for Jesus, but he’s using her to help me get there. God is moving in us and I feel making us stronger in this relationship.
We worship together. We pray together. We study together. We pursue God together. We keep each other accountable. We pray for each other.
And no matter what: